All-New Grouchy Filth Action

I figured it was about time this blog got some content, so I wrote some. This is a short little extra adventure in the world of Grouchy Filth. It answers a ton of nagging questions from the original work, and gives a wealth of additional insight into the characters and their motivations. It might only be 1 1/4 pages long, but trust me, you do not have the complete Grouchy Filth experience unless you read this.

"Drake, I saw you checking out my package today." said Miranda coolly. "What have you got to say for yourself?"

"I, I wasn't!" stammered Drake. "Honest! I would never!"

"But the question is, was it a look of shock? Of disgust? Did the fact that your little sister's a shemale finally sink in? Or-" asked Miranda, pushing him down onto the bed, "Was it a look of lust?"

"It-" started Drake, but before he could reply she covered his mouth with her own, frenching him passionately. After a moment of enduring her probing tongue and exploring hands, he managed to push her off.

"We, we can't!" he gasped. "You're my brister!"

"That makes it all the more exciting." she grinned devilishly, one of her wandering hands straying to his belt.

"Vi, we've got an emergency!" said Julie worriedly, clicking off the TV.

"Aw man, what are you doing?" whined Vi. "Brister: I Kissed 'Er is my favorite show! And it's a new one tonight, too!"

"You're just gonna have to catch it reruns." said Julie seriously. Her face was cast into suspenseful shadow. "There's something very, very wrong with the moon."

"What do you want ME to do about it?" asked Vi.

"Pretend to fix it in a way that makes me stop bothering you." suggested Julie.

"I guess I can manage that." she sighed. She got up off the couch and they wandered out of the tiny apartment to the elevator, taking it down to the ground floor.

"So what's wrong with the moon?" asked Vi, as they descended.

"I can't even explain it." said Julie seriously. "It's something you have to experience."

"Can I have a hint?" asked Vi.

"It starts with B, and E is the fourth letter." Julie replied.

"Hmmm." said Vi. "Boderoy?"

"Not quite." said Julie.

"Is it a noun or what?" asked Vi.

"It can be." said Julie mysteriously. They stepped out of the elevator and headed outside.

Without saying a word, she solemnly pointed up at the moon.

Vi stared at it. It was a perfectly normal looking crescent moon. "Boderoy?"

"No!" said Julie. "There's a huge 'BITE' taken out of it!"

Vi looked at it again and laughed. "Oh Julie! 23 years of age and STILL so naive!" Some friendly science music began playing. "You see, the moon is what we adults like to call a 'shapeshifter'. It changes it's form many times a month. These erratic, unexplainable changes are called 'phases'! Can you say 'phases', Julie?"

"I can say 'you're a condescending jerk'." said Julie grumpily.

"Then 'phases' shouldn't be a problem! I worried for nothing! Now, during these phases, the moon can look like any number of things! A circle, half a circle, not a circle... anything your imagination can conceive!"

"Even a circle with a bite taken out of it?" asked Julie.

"If you can imagine it!" said Vi whimsically.

"Well, thanks!" said Julie brightly. "That clears everything up."

"Glad to hear it." said Vi. Then, out of nowhere, Sally Moonbiter took a second bite of the moon, and then a third.

"Oh no! Sally Moonbiter!" shouted Vi. "Don't tell me she's back in town!"

"I'm gigantic!" Sally cheerfully reminded them.

THE END

I also thought it was time I added some consonants to this blog, so due to popular demand, here they are: BCDFGHJKLMNPQRSTVWXZ

Go ahead and count 'em, they're all there.